we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
