she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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