I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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