you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
