he shaved USA in his pubs
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
