Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
