You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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