you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize