Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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