evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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