I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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