I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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