watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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