I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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