I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
