Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
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What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
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I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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