yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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