Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
