I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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