Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
