just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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