you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
