i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
