Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
