I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
