you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
