dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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