I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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