..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
