So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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