here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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