You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
