i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
