winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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