Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think my moral compass just broke
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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