News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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