I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
