SEEEEXXX PLEASE
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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