god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
