do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
