Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
