I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
