I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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