Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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