why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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