Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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