okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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