Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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