i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I believe in your delicious
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
