I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Houston, we have a squirter
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize