i barfeds in our rink
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I am naked and annoyed.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
