another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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