I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
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Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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