the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
