ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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