I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
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I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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