whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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