Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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