The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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