I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
